The following are random transmissions that we intercepted and translated to the best of our abilities.
“There’s a malfunction in the stabilizer system; we are losing control of the ship.”
“Ship is crashing; impact imminent. Crew evacuated to planet surface.”
“I have survived impact and am currently searching for crew. The civilization here is more advanced than expected.”
“I have accessed an artificial neural network that connects the planet’s population. I am using it to conduct a search for the crew. I am hoping to make contact soon.”
“I have discovered advanced communications application on Internet. This new app allows me to read the thoughts of others. It should make searching for the missing crew members easier.”
“I have managed to make friends here on Twitter. Still no signs of the crew. I’m beginning to lose hope.”
“I have made contact with certain people who might be members of the crew. They think as we think. I must find a way to confirm their identities.”
“I have identified several crew members. They do not wish to be identified, nor do they want to return home to the mother ship.”
“I have decided to end contact with you. I have discovered a highly addictive substance here. Do not land.”
“Substance has high levels of sugar and caffeine. It affects the brain. Impossible to avoid contact with it. DO NOT LAND!”
“Addiction is permanent. Substance identified by natives as chocolate. Supply low… need more!”
No further communications detected.