Peering Into The Dark Through Sunlight Eyes

It is very hard for people who are not depressed to fully understand depression.  It not a “case of the Mondays” or something you can easily shake.  You feel terrible all the time.  It saps your will to get out of bed.

People who are not depressed will often expect an instant cure when you start on a medication.  They expect you to instantly snap out of it, to get over it, to get a life as if you could snap your fingers and magically have one.  I didn’t lose my ice cream on the sidewalk; it’s not as easy as that.  There is nothing I can point to and say “that’s why I’m sad”.

And if you have never been down that deep dark hole, lost in the caverns of despair, you can’t possibly begin to understand the hard climb ahead.  I know you want to help, but your eyes have been in the sunlight and you can’t see how deep the hole is or how far down it I am.  You can’t help me find the way out if you can’t see where I am.  I have to find it myself in my time at my speed.

And once I’ve found the exit, and started to adjust to the sunlight, don’t expect me to come bounding out into the sunshine all bright and shiny.  I can see that it’s nice out there and I want to join you, but my eyes are still accustomed to the dark.

It may take some time to adjust, but it will happen.  It’s nice out there, although at times a little frightening.  Sometimes I slip back into the entrance, but never far enough from the light.  And then one day I will emerge happy and hopeful and able to cope with the world that I had hidden from.

Advertisements

About Julirose

Amateur word arranger, avid number cruncher, and science fiction and fantasy enthusiast.
This entry was posted in Random Thoughts and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Peering Into The Dark Through Sunlight Eyes

  1. Diane says:

    I can really relate to this. I have been there and it was hard to explain the pain. Which only made it worse. Fortunately, I had some friends that stood by me and were very supportive.

    I can now identify most with – “Sometimes I slip back into the entrance, but never far enough from the light”. There are some things I don’t remember about that time in my life, but I do remember the struggles to get out and the feeling of being pushed back down.

    Like

  2. Lauren says:

    This line’s great: I can see that it’s nice out there and I want to join you, but my eyes are still accustomed to the dark.

    I can identify with this somewhat, but I don’t think I have clinical(?) depression because I can point to the things that make me feel terrible and keep me in that darkness. My depression doesn’t come from an imbalance, it comes from injustices in my life.

    Anyway, your blog is great! It’s just so well organized, streamlined, and I love the name.

    Side note: I hope to start a proofreading/editing service very soon, so if you want your site proofread (or edited though I don’t think you need it) in exchange for a short testimonial, please let me know as I need more experience working with web sites (or blogs). If you want more information about this, just e-mail me. 😀

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s