Wabbits (For Your Amusement)

This is not an actual memo – it was an English assignment.

MEMO

TO:             All Personnel
FROM:       Information Services Manager
DATE:         October 20, 2010
SUBJECT:  Temporary Shutdown of Company Computer Network

 

WHEN IT WILL OCCUR 

The corporate server will be offline for twelve hours beginning at 6 PM this evening and ending at 6 AM tomorrow morning.

WHY WE ARE DOING IT 

A virus has infected the corporate server requiring a temporary network shutdown.  The virus is removable. 

On October 19, at 2:15 pm, we received a complaint about files being stored on the corporate server. When the files open, they show two adult rabbits mating before opening regular content. The number of incidents of this lewd animation has increased on an hourly basis. 

We investigated and discovered that the cause was a computer virus.  The virus, Wabbits, is a known virus that will attach itself to data files and execute a small animation before allowing the file to be read.  It then clones itself and the offspring attach to another data file. Because it will attach itself to already infected files, the effect of the virus is the loss of available space on the hard drive as it consumes more sectors with each replication.

WHAT WE ARE DOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM 

We will upload a special anti-viral program, Elmer,  to the server to track down the infected sectors and remove the Wabbits from the system.  It is necessary that the system be closed and no files in use for Elmer to successfully hunt Wabbits. 

Most probably, Wabbits entered the system through an email as an attachment.  An investigation is ongoing to find the exact point of entry. We will install an upgrade to the firewall to prevent re-infection of the server.  Please tell Information Services if you discover the virus on your local hard drive.  This will allow us to install Elmer on your desktop computer to eradicate Wabbits from the corporate system.

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About Julirose

Amateur word arranger, avid number cruncher, and science fiction and fantasy enthusiast.
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